its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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