halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
