This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
