This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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