when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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