I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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