U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
