Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
