I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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