Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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