Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
and you fell through a lawn chair
last night I used snow as a chaser
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