i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
