You smell like a Billy Joel song
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
