Plan B is the new Plan A
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
