i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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