I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
