K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
