my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
accomplished twins. life is a go
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
