Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
