I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
