so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come share oat with me in your robe
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
