I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
