I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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