eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
