wat bout pragnant strippers??
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
