:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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