this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
