i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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