whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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