I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
