It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
