Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
