We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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