He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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