I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
40s are totally the cure
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize