ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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