The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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