If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
