yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
