There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
