yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
