with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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