i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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