Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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