Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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