Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
