I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
