I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
