What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
