well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
